restless...

i have this overwhelming sense of restlessness...i think it is coming from just little parts of everything in my life, but i still want to say that there is something specific it might be stemming from. i love my job, but i can't afford to stay there for financial reasons unless they can actually figure something out. i feel like i am going nowhere in my life right now...that i am stuck in this place that i can never get out of. then on top of this i have a fear....this fear is that something will happen to my little sister. she has been close to death 2 times and i just have this fear that she could die soon. it scares me to death. in church one day the pastor said that your biggest fears in life are the biggest areas where you don't trust God. I love God with all my heart, but i guess there are still areas i keep guarded. why is it so hard to give those things to him, and why is it such a struggle to give them up...i guess that i have this fear that God is going to hurt me, even though I KNOW he never would...i feel as though i am jumping from topic to topic tonight so i am just going to head to bed...and i guess i am taking this restlessness with me...